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thinkthinks

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thinkthinks's Latest Comments View all

Sensitive kids

16/11/2010 - 10:13

My 10 year old son is super-sensitive. He really does go to pieces at the slightest reproach, and is so hard on himself when he does something wrong. To him a stern voice is the same as a yell. I have learned to try not to lose my temper with him in frustration (he is a daydreamer and takes forever to get ready for example) because mopping up the tearful aftermath is even more challenging.

The hardest part is because his sister is so very different. 2 years older and of a totally different temperament - she often calls shenanigans when we don't discipline him the same way as we do her. Well, we do really. But she is stubborn and wont always take no for answer and loves to talk back and argue. ("I'm not arguing, I am debating!" is a favourite phrase of hers.) so to her mind it probably seems like we are different with him because his reactions are so opposite to hers.

Eg. Yell down hallway for 8th time for kids to hurry up.
Her: I'M COMING! I'M JUST LOOKING FOR MY SHOES! GOD! [stomps out from room. Is told in no uncertain terms to watch how she speaks. Rolls her eyes then gets over it and chatters as usual.]

Him: I can't find my shoes! [flops onto bed, head down. I walk in, hand him shoes that were under towel on floor. "Here! Now hurry up and put them on! We have to go!" He bursts into tears.] Yells "I just couldn't see them!"
No point remonstrating further, as he will lose it completely. Need to just get the shoes on him and out of the house.

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Maybe the key is to only pay

09/09/2010 - 09:13

Maybe the key is to only pay them for things you would pay someone else to do. So little ones not really anything. But tweens and teens - maybe. We wash our car at a carwash, which costs $12 or $14. I guess we could pay our kids $5 each to do the job. Saves us money, and they earn it.

An older teen babysitting younger siblings when normally you'd pay a sitter, could be paid, but a lesser rate.

But paying for taking out the garbage, feeding the cat, setting/clearing table - yeah, I can really see Yvette's point here.

We don't give our kids (10 & 12) set "pocket money", nor do they have set chores. We expect them to help out when they are asked, same as we would help them. Birthday money and change from canteen money does build up in their money boxes and wallets and they are pretty good at saving up for things they want. I will be encouraging them both to get casual jobs when they are old enough, as this is how I funded my own entertainment as a teen.

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I've never done the longhaul

24/08/2010 - 11:20

I've never done the longhaul flight with kids in tow, but have watched friends from the UK struggling with jetlag on their family visits home to Australia. Seems like they spend their first week in a state of perpetual sleep deprivation, induced by tots waking in the night wanting to PLAY PLAY PLAY!

I am an odd fish, in that I love long car trips with the kids. We travel regularly through western NSW to visit family. Since in-car DVDs cause motion sickness in my oldest, we never bought a player, instead relying on the travel games and silliness of my own childhood. Admittedly it has been a lot easier as the kids have grown.

Worst trip: Newcastle to Yamba, Boxing Day 2003. 3yo and 5yo in the back. Old car with broken airconditioning. 10 hours sitting in traffic jams from Bulahdelah to Coffs Harbour. After that anything else is a doddle.

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Love it Carol. My kids are

23/08/2010 - 12:19

Love it Carol. My kids are also remarkably different sleepers. Daughter needed a "lie beside" and then eventually to be read off to sleep up until about a year ago. Finally at 12, we only need a bit of a read then a kiss goodnight and lights out. And even though I've done too many years of patting, rocking, singing, reading and cuddling to sleep, I confess I do get a little twinge to hear her getting up to the bathroom in the night, then going back to bed without needing me.

10yo son - another story. He too drops off to sleep in seconds. If he isn't asleep in 3 minutes he will actually call out plaintively "I caaaaan't get to sleeeeep!" Dude - give it another minute! He has his beloved Godfrey Bear every night - just a little bear that my grandfather gave him when he was 3. His Dad's Sergeant-Major Edward Bear is about too, but not for cuddles as is too old and scratchy. But most important is his "quilty" - a simple "quillow" that was a handmade gift from a great-aunt for his 1st birthday. Quilty is so dilapidated now that I can no longer wash it in the machine, so it is a bit pongy. Rags are hanging from it, and we can't take it anywhere so he has had to learn to do without when we travel.

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