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MacStrider

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getting back to you

04/09/2010 - 02:15

The book I read that roughouse play with the father improves social skills was from Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman, in case you'd like to read it.

And the reason he thinks that it only had to do with the father was simply because fathers tend to be more unpredictable, and mothers more even keel, and this up and down, "you never know what's coming" gives the child more chances to interpret dads moods, and keep an eye on him to see if they're about to be tickled or thrown into a pile of blankets.

He also said that fathers will roughhouse quickly, and then settle back down, so the child learns how to read the calming back down cues better too.

And no it was not just with fathers and sons, it included fathers and daughters too.

My wife and I brought up the same question of, "Can Mom's do this too?", and while I have no idea, when my wife tried to do more roughhousing with my son around 18 months old, he didn't like it. It was almost like roughhousing was Daddy's department and Mommy was the stable place.

I'd be curious if that's what other couples have experienced with their children who have a dad who roughhouses with them?

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Thanks for recommending the test

03/09/2010 - 02:04

thanks Yvette for recommending this test.

I had an interesting confirmation while taking this test in relation to the section on reading other people's emotions.

While I did great on the other areas of the test I came up short on this one, and it was confirmation of a study I read by Gottman that said that children who's fathers don't roughhouse with them grow up to be worse at reading facial cues and reading the emotions of others.

And my dad didn't roughhouse with me. I'd always felt like this was a weakness, but it was helpful to get confirmation, especially so I can take preventative steps from making the same mistakes with my children :-)

If you find any other interesting tests, please send them my way :-)

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Here's some research about attachment parenting

03/09/2010 - 01:19

Here's an article that shows some of the research backing up why attachment parenting is so important: http://www.parentingscience.com/strange-situation.html

Seems like a closed case to me.

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