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ZoeyMartin's Comments

Don't judge me!

06/11/2010 - 15:52

I think judgement has been demonised in recent times. Yes, no one likes it when somebody makes a whole lot of assumptions based on a single moment of time. But that doesn't mean judgement is bad. In fact the use of good judgement used to be a good thing. If you have an opinion about something you are making a judgement of one kind or another.

And I'm sure people's opinion or judgement of me in the supermarket would depend on the day! Sometimes I'm an awesome, fun, engaged parent and other times I'm just a bit cranky and exasperated. But I think it's fair to say that I should be judged not on what I'm like on a day when everything is going right but on that day when everything is hard, that is a true measure of what kind of parent I am. What happens on the worst day of your life is the measure of your character, not the other way around.

So I don't think it's a bad thing to have an opinion about somebody's harsh tone of voice with their little one, or the fact that they seemed completely disconnected from their child's obvious distress. And as far as tone goes, I'm with you. A certain tone of voice is scary for adults, let alone children. Somebody can easily lose the plot with their kids and not be that scary. Actually, the last time I lost my temper with Riley and raised my voice. She laughed at me. I'm obviously doing something right.

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Money Messages

08/09/2010 - 16:52

I think there are plenty of ways to teach reward for pay without it involving family and household chores. And actually, I think as long as the message about budgeting and saving for what you want are getting through then that whole work for reward thing.

But I think it's a dangerous message to send that children get paid for chores. Particularly if they are living in a home with a stay at home mother who does the vast bulk of chores and without being paid for it. Would paying children for their chores teach them to undervalue their mum? I think it might.

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Some Kind of Hell

24/08/2010 - 09:54

For me the worst is airport delays. Particularly when my daughter was 18 months. Walking, but not really able to be reasoned with. I had a bag that weighed about a tonne, so couldn't exactly chase her around the airport. And because it was such a short flight I had packed her bottle in our checked in baggage. It was a solo trip and it was hell.

7 hours later when we finally arrived at our destination (flight only about 1 hr), I was wondering why I even bothered. Or that I should have driven. At least we would have been going forward.

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Outdoor Play

17/08/2010 - 18:29

I think outdoor play is so important - to adults and kids of all ages. Admittedly the adult version of outdoor play is often exercise. But time out spent at the beach or on a walk is so important for balance (I think). And I've especially noticed with my toddler that outside play in the morning (swimming, going to the park) makes a huge difference to her mood for the rest of the day.

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Dumbing Down

12/08/2010 - 10:33

I think there can be a real risk of gifted children dumbing themselves down to fit in. In fact there is a risk of 'average' children dumbing themselves down too.

It's a pretty challenging thing to teach children social skills without masking areas of intelligence or talent as a prerequisite.

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