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CarolDuncan's Comments

Anj - Mama's are built

21/01/2011 - 15:21

Anj - Mama's are built tough!! LOL xxx

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Hi Maxabella2, So far, so

21/01/2011 - 14:29

Hi Maxabella2,

So far, so good! *crosses fingers*

My boys are lucky to be surrounded by people who love them, they will be fine, no matter how much I might try to mess them up!

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Hi Susan, It was only rocky

21/01/2011 - 14:27

Hi Susan,

It was only rocky for a day or two! Mr 9 has taken it all in his stride. He wasn't happy when the mention of a procedure when he's about 12 came up ... but he's just fine. Perhaps that is one of the joys of being 9!

When you work out the perfect way of juggling others expectations, do be sure to let me know!

Mum was actually with the boys when she collapsed, so the boys saw everything and know everything. No-one panicked, no-one got upset ... we all got rather business-like but there were no bundles dropped. I just did what I thought was right, and I do to this day. I have explained everything to them and in fact Mr 7 mentioned something about that day in the car this morning. They've been told that Grandma would be proud of them for taking care of her when she got sick. Which she would, but they also feel like they did what they could for their Grandma. That we all did.

Have you read Maggie Mackellar's When It Rains? Her memoir. I interviewed her last year. Wow.

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Hi Annie, Sometimes

21/01/2011 - 14:22

Hi Annie,

Sometimes depression, anxiety or other illness can cause people to lose their resilience, and we need to do much more for people in caring for their mental health. Heaven knows there are many heartbreaks people suffer because we don't yet have the answers to help them. And as we've seen recently amongst our own Twitter community - sometimes we don't even know someone is struggling.

But generally - humans are wonderful and much stronger than they think!

One of my great beliefs about my work is that when people tell and share their most personal and painful stories ... that is when they help other people the most. I have seen first-hand what can happen when people share themselves and their experiences. It reminds others that we CAN face the challenge, whatever it may be. That there are others who have walked in our shoes before us and prove to us that ... it will all be OK in the end. It might not be what we hope for, but it will be OK.

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Hi Kerry, Thanks for your

21/01/2011 - 14:18

Hi Kerry,

Thanks for your comments. We are a happy family and I think we are very lucky indeed. It IS a frustration when you don't feel you can say or do what you really want to. But it's an age-old problem, isn't it!

I'm not a victim, neither are my kids. We are healthy (we are, you know!), happy, educated and employed ... and we learn together every single day.

Terrible frights? Yep! But in my job as a journalist and presenter with the ABC, I have done innumerable interviews with people over the last 20+ years who really have been through trials and tribulations. Some of the stories people have shared with me have reduced me to tears, and I wonder how they go on. But they do. These are experiences that are far more terrible than mine.

But each of our experiences are individual to us, so when another mum tells me how upset or frightened she may be about a medical issue or procedure with her child, I *always* have empathy! No matter how trivial it may seem in comparison to what Mr 7 went through, for example, because it is HER experience and is equally as valid as my own, no matter how they might differ.

It is one of the great rewards of my career - it is a great reality check!

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Happiness

03/12/2010 - 05:59

Yes, for me it's all about happiness. And resilience for the times when the happy goes a little astray.

To be truly happy involves so many facets of your life and I fear it is sometimes treated as 'pop psychology'. I suspect, also, that some of our most 'valued societal norms' can in fact be harmful to many people.

Can't change the world, but I can try to guide my lads a little.

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Both really good reasons for

02/12/2010 - 17:31

Both really good reasons for considering what's 'best' for your kids. I swing between the options - public comprehensive, selective, private ... my husband is a very good example of good public education as both an accomplished musician and holding a PhD in applied physics. But I also know of the difficulties he had at school - not really feeling like he'd 'found his tribe' until he started university.

I am, of course, no clearer about this than I was yesterday.

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Sensitive kids

16/11/2010 - 08:26

Hi Sarah,

Your Mr 4 and my Mr 9 have a lot in common. Mr 9 is very bright and can become very distressed when he's being disciplined.

I never use the children's bedrooms as time out or punishment. I want their bedrooms to become their little sanctuaries where they can take themselves for happy things. 'Time out' at our place is on the stairs where the child can be observed and the issue discussed.

I wish I knew what to do about Mr 9's ability to work himself into a state of utter distress ... I heard him one afternoon after getting into trouble for a minor transgression lying on his bedroom floor, crying, screaming and wailing, "I'm the WORST boy in the world! My life is OVER! No-one will EVER trust me!" Oh it was heartbreaking! And I found it quite frightening - what to do?!

He is, of course, a beautiful, well-behaved child who has the ability to beat up on himself. His brother, Mr 7, seems far more resilient.

Sorry I offer no answers! But I think bedrooms being happy, secure, safe places is important.

xx

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Ha! Thank you! I hope you

10/11/2010 - 17:11

Ha! Thank you! I hope you still think that once you've met them!

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The way it should be ...

31/10/2010 - 19:50

I couldn't be prouder of my kids ... except maybe when one lets rip a smelly fart in Big W ... other than that, they're good boys. Boys!

I'm impressed that your grade 2 girl's mother actually STOPPED THE CAR before off-loading her.

And you know what, when I look around my friends, family and colleagues ... well, what an assortment of humanity's quirks we are!

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