Newsletter Subscription

Regular Updates on Parenting, Happy Children & Emotional Intelligence

  • Latest Articles - Raising Children with Emotional Intelligence
  • New Parenting Blogs
  • Parenting Tips for Happy Children
  • Free Online Seminars
  • Popular Parenting Books & Reviews

Subscribe!

Regular Updates on Parenting, Happy Children & Emotional Intelligence

  • Latest Articles - Raising Children with Emotional Intelligence
  • New Parenting Blogs
  • Parenting Tips for Happy Children
  • Free Online Seminars
  • Popular Parenting Books & Reviews

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
Unsubscribe

Blog Archives

View full Archive

Proudly Supporting

Proudly Supporting

New Baby On Its Way - Sharing the Love

By Zoey Martin - 13th September 2010

In a world of absolutes, one is (relatively) easy. One love, one career, one religion, one belief system. Perhaps easy is the wrong word. But it's simple.

And one child fits very nicely into the romantic notion of love, just one big love. One little creature who receives all my worries, all my love, all my devotion and all of my attention. And although I might be frustrated with the demands of work competing with spending time with Riley or not being able to balance the two of them very well, in a lot of ways it is easy or easier to give her all the patience and time that she needs. But I never wanted one child. I only grew to love the idea as time passed and I was still not pregnant. The lure wasn't strong enough - I was very excited when I got pregnant and I could hold on to my dream of a big family.

I think it's natural to mourn no longer having an only child when the next one comes along, to wish that you could always give them all the attention that you always had. And equally as normal to worry that you could never possibly love another baby as much as you love this baby (yes, she'll always be my baby). But that's not what scares me. It used to scare me, particularly because I don't fall in love with my babies before they are born. It's too abstract. I'm excited and protective but I don't feel anything beyond that. But having had a few of my friends recently have their second baby, I've seen how quickly and easily parents fall in love with babies, even the non-sleeping kind of babies.

What does scare me? Falling out of love with my first baby. How much more grown up  will she seem when I have a newborn in my arms? How much more I will expect from my fisrt baby (not always reasonably) because she's a 'big girl'? How much less patience will I have for the frustrations of a toddler? That scares the hell out of me. Because although I can't imagine the new relationship, I am protective of the existing one. 

Quite telling that in having a second baby my only fears are for my first. But I have a lot of faith coming from the fact that after Riley was born I could never have imagined loving one teeny little person so much. I imagine my love for the now-jellybean will come from exactly the same place. And that I will enjoy all the complexities of two children over the simplicity of one.

There's one thing I know for sure. Love is easy. Patience is hard.

Comments (1)

The heart gets bigger AND...

... the biggest love is saved for when you're watching your children interact with each other. Your heart just swells out of your chest with love for these beautiful little beings that let you hang out with them. x

Member Login

Subscribe to our Blog