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An Emotional Intelligence Test to Try

By Yvette Vignando - 12th August 2010

There is plenty of debate about:

-what is emotional intelligence?

-how can emotional intelligence be measured?

-which emotional intelligence test is the best or even legitimate?

I'm not going to weigh in on that debate right now but I wanted to share a link to an emotional intelligence test that I just tried online. It was a free test and I thought it was quite good. It took me about 10 or 15 minutes to complete it thoughtfully,

See what you think. Here's the link. What is Your Emotional IQ?

Comments (4)

YvetteVignando's picture

The Heart of Parenting

That just happens to be one of my favourite parenting books. It's going to be in the happychild bookstore (when it's up!). I'll look that reference up, thank you.

getting back to you

The book I read that roughouse play with the father improves social skills was from Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman, in case you'd like to read it.

And the reason he thinks that it only had to do with the father was simply because fathers tend to be more unpredictable, and mothers more even keel, and this up and down, "you never know what's coming" gives the child more chances to interpret dads moods, and keep an eye on him to see if they're about to be tickled or thrown into a pile of blankets.

He also said that fathers will roughhouse quickly, and then settle back down, so the child learns how to read the calming back down cues better too.

And no it was not just with fathers and sons, it included fathers and daughters too.

My wife and I brought up the same question of, "Can Mom's do this too?", and while I have no idea, when my wife tried to do more roughhousing with my son around 18 months old, he didn't like it. It was almost like roughhousing was Daddy's department and Mommy was the stable place.

I'd be curious if that's what other couples have experienced with their children who have a dad who roughhouses with them?

YvetteVignando's picture

Interesting Comment about Fathers and Reading Emotions

Thanks for the feedback and interesting comment. There are a lot of free tests online and of course, paid ones. I thought this one was quite a good one (for free) and people who have done it have confirmed it reflects mostly how they see themselves.

I was interested in your comment about play with fathers. I wonder why this is fathers in particular? Is this comment especially referrable to boys and their dads?

It does make sense to me in this way - if kids are mucking around with their dad and learning to read his face to know when 'enough is enough' and learning what is fun and what is not by reading facial cues, then that's a learning opportunity.

Steve Biddulph writes about how important it is for dads to physically play with their kids. In his "In a Nutshell" section in Raising Boys, he says "Most boys love rough and tumble games. Use these for enjoyment and also to teach him self-control, by stopping and setting some rules whenever the game gets too rough."

Thanks for recommending the test

thanks Yvette for recommending this test.

I had an interesting confirmation while taking this test in relation to the section on reading other people's emotions.

While I did great on the other areas of the test I came up short on this one, and it was confirmation of a study I read by Gottman that said that children who's fathers don't roughhouse with them grow up to be worse at reading facial cues and reading the emotions of others.

And my dad didn't roughhouse with me. I'd always felt like this was a weakness, but it was helpful to get confirmation, especially so I can take preventative steps from making the same mistakes with my children :-)

If you find any other interesting tests, please send them my way :-)

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