Newsletter Subscription

Regular Updates on Parenting, Happy Children & Emotional Intelligence

  • Latest Articles - Raising Children with Emotional Intelligence
  • New Parenting Blogs
  • Parenting Tips for Happy Children
  • Free Online Seminars
  • Popular Parenting Books & Reviews

Subscribe!

Regular Updates on Parenting, Happy Children & Emotional Intelligence

  • Latest Articles - Raising Children with Emotional Intelligence
  • New Parenting Blogs
  • Parenting Tips for Happy Children
  • Free Online Seminars
  • Popular Parenting Books & Reviews

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
Unsubscribe

Blog Archives

View full Archive

Proudly Supporting

Proudly Supporting

Finding Friends Can Sometimes Mean Losing Friends

By Carol Duncan - 7th March 2012

photo by Carol Duncan - all rights reserved

Are there any kids at your school that you’re glad your own children aren’t friends with?

Do you keep an eagle-eye on the friends your child does make and, well, judge the friend just a little bit? Is there a child you hope never gets invited to the birthday party?

Has your child come home and said,“Mummy, (insert name here) isn’t my friend anymore.” ?

Friends.

How many times have you heard it, or said it: “You can choose your friends, but not your family.”

It can be difficult to explain to your child why their friend isn’t playing with them any more.  Excluding them. Maybe even being mean to them. It can be difficult to explain to your child about the two-way street that friendships must be to be truly a friendship. Hard to explain that sometimes friendships come, and sometimes they go.

I remember the first time one of my boys came home and told me that his best friend wasn’t his friend anymore. How hurt and alienated he felt that this young friend whom he loved had moved on to someone else. Oh how I wanted to make his hurt go away.

But friendships change, grow, die.  Even when we’re all grown up. And it hurts.

So far I think my sons have chosen their friends well. The most recent birthday parties have seen a wonderful group of kids invading my home with their laughter and jokes and noises only boys seem to know how to make. And I found myself hoping that this group of children will still be here at the 21st birthday parties. And so on.

But I know that won’t be the case. Some will be here. Some won’t.

I try to remind my boys that true friends are people with whom they can play, talk, share, confide in, and even argue sometimes.

That true friends will listen and try to understand.

That true friends will love them regardless of their quirks and curiosities.

That true friends will support them and never humiliate them.

That sometimes friends will make mistakes, but that's okay.

That to have friends, you have to be a friend. To give, not just take.

To always act with integrity. And honesty.

I also tell them that sometimes, it’s okay to let go. Or to push.

Indeed, sometimes it’s necessary. There have to be limits.

But I also tell them never to close themselves off to making new friends.

Because the friends I’m making now, at this stage in my life, are the most wonderful friends I think I’ve ever had.

Member Login

Subscribe to our Blog